Friday, April 28, 2017

5 Ways to be Nicer to Yourself

The Look:
Top: Forever 21 Plus // Jeans: Charlotte Russe // Heels: Steve Madden //Bag: Coach
Shades: Quay X Desi Perkins // Earrings: Charming Charlie

1. Do unto YOURSELF as you would do unto others. Not sure why we as humans will have sympathy, compassion and understanding for a stranger but not for ourselves. You are worthy of the grace you would extend someone else. You would never (at least I hope you wouldn't) go up to another woman and tell her to her face that she is ugly, fat and stupid. You wouldn't dare. So why do you do it to yourself daily?? That woman looking back at you in the mirror is worthy of the same respect you would give another. Pray for her don't put her down.

2. Remember your wins. We are often so focused on our flaws that we forget to congratulate ourselves on our wins. Never forget your accomplishments because your so busy pouting about your failures. We are often so focused on where we're going that we forget the treacherous path we conquered to even get that far. Next time you forget take a moment of reflection and remember your journey up to this point.

3. Speak words of affirmation. Ok now hear me out...this really works! I used to see people doing this and was always skeptical thinking to myself does that really work? Can repeating the same thing over and over to yourself actually make your body do something or make your mind think something? The answer is YES! Tell yourself every single day that you are awesome, you are loved, you WILL be successful for just a few moments at the start of your day and see what happens. After all, if you can tell yourself the bad words over and over, "gosh I shouldn't have done that", "I'm never gonna pass", "I'll never lose this weight", what will it hurt to try it the other way around?

4. Do something nice for yourself. It can be something small. My suggestion is always to take a nice bath with a good book or buy a new lipstick and wear it boldly. I have to be careful with this because I like to buy stuff (haha don't we all) and will give myself ANY excuse to do so. So my action of doing something for myself usually doesn't involve me spending money. A nice bath or talking a walk at a park I keep passing or cuddles with my puppy all counts as DOING something nice for Naja.

5. Forgive yourself. Ok now this is a big one. You will fail at times...often. You will most certainly fall short once or twice but you must always remember that you are HUMAN and you were built with flaws. I am particularly hard on myself because I truly know me, I know what I'm capable of. I am incredibly smart, strong, resilient, creative and resourceful; you have to be to have overcome some of the trials and tribulations that I have. So when I F up or fall short I'm hard on me because I know I could have done better. But the thing is we have to fail to learn the lesson and you have to learn the lesson in order to grow. GOD forgives so you should too, start with yourself.

What are some ways you dolls are nice to yourselves? I want to know in the comments below!

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Monday, April 24, 2017

Dashiki Top & Pink Pumps

 
Top: Gift, similar HERE // Jeans: Charlotte Russe // Pumps: Miu Miu, similar 
Purse: Zara, old// Shades: Nordstrom

Hey loves, Happy Monday! Today I'm rocking this gorgeous Dashiki printed top gifted to me by a friend. I love rocking African print, THIS skirt is one of my favs! When I seen the vibrant colors I knew I wanted to go bold so I paired the top with a hot pink pump and lips. Let's just say I'm not scared color at all.

I hope you all had a great weekend and off to an amazing and productive week. I binge watched 13 Reasons Why on Netflix yesterday and it has me behind causing me to play catch up on this Monday. Great show but DO NOT start watching it if you have things to do. You have been warned ;-)

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Friday, April 21, 2017

Diamond Domaine Update: Guest Suite Reveal

Hey loves. Happy Friday. Woo Hoo look at me, 3 posts this week! *insert happy dance* Today I'm giving you dolls an update on my home, Diamond Domaine. If you remember, I purchased my home a little over a year ago and besides my Christmas decor update I haven't given you dolls an update. Now that I am free and my time is once again my own, I'm making it a point to actually focus on making my home the domaine of my dreams. Spending 80 percent of my time on the road made it an absolute pain to be home for furniture deliveries let alone shopping or even figuring out what the hell my home style was. (P.S Still don't know! *Kanye Shrug*

I want to start a series here where I walk you through how I do just that. Please join me on the journey to transform #DiamondDomaine into my own cozy little castle.  After all your home should be your safe haven, most favorite place and where you feel most comfortable, right? After becoming a homeowner I quickly realized it takes time and work hunni to get it together how you really want. Designing a fabulous home you are proud of takes time and patience so don't rush it and stay true to you. 

Today I'm going to start from the bottom and show you my guest suite which is on my first floor. This is where family and friends stay when they come to visit me. Since I live about 40 mins from DC I tend to get a fair amount of visitors regularly. I found making this large space into a suite for them was super easy and convenient for me and a more comfortable option opposed to trecking luggage and all up to the 3rd level where the bedrooms are significatly smaller. My goal was NOT to break the bank, in fact I kept it very budget friendly hunty! *High Five Me!*  I staged the space with items I already owned, DIY'd myself and other IKEA finds that wouldn't break the bank. My goal for the space was inviting, cozy, and comfortable on a budget. So tell me HOW'd I DO?!?! Leave me your thoughts on the space in the comments below. Would you want to come by and be a guest at #DiamondDomaine?! 
Bedding and wall tapestry from Target // Bedside table and lamp from IKEA (already owned)
TV should be mounted.....one day....one day soon. Any volunteers please let me know! #notkidding
In the bathroom I keep just a few essentials you might have left at home. Dove soap is ma fav!
This plant is totally fake but ain't she cute thou. IKEA greenery for the WIN!
Those paintings on the wall would be my handy Picasso skills. Give me a paint brush and some water colors and I'm one happy camper! :-D Frames are from IKEA. 
This table actually turned out to be an Amazon.com #FAIL and after putting it together I was far too lazy/busy to send it back so it found a new home down here. My clear chairs are from upstairs but weren't being used so instead of spending more money on new chairs I just migrated them down here as well. The fridge and microwave are probably most definitely unnecessary but at the time it made sense. I basically don't need to shop on Amazon late at night while exhausted. SMH #facts
Snacks anyone?? The kitchen is upstairs so just in case they are too lazy(those steps are HELL after your comfortable and settled for the night), sleepy, or drunk (hey it happens and I'm not judging!) for that journey I placed a few basics in this cute lil basket. 
This couch has been with me since my Shreveport days and although pretty ugly (sorry Lola...yes she has a name lol) this is THE MOST COMFORTABLE couch ever! 
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Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Operation: Live My Best Life!

Blouse // Jeans, these are my FAV // Heels: Miu Miu many seasons ago // 

Happy Happy Hump Day Dolls!!

First of all, let me just say a HUGE thank you to those that read my last post and left me such wonderful and supportive comments! I soooo appreciate you and was touched by each and every one of them. It feels amazing to have all your support through this time and know that those who told me you are going through the same at your job, I support you and I'm praying for you. 

So, now what? For the last year and a half that position has been my identity. Who I was. What I did just about every single day. What consumed my thoughts constantly. What my life was centered around. Now what do I do? Simple. Time for part 2 of my plan to LIVE MY BEST LIFE! Figure out what that looks like and do it every single day. My situation is unique because I am only responsible for Naja at this point in life. It will change in a flash I'm sure but in the meantime I need to LIVE like I mean it. Live with intention, gratitude, and joy. Grow to a better me each day and work on being kinder to Naja. I am my own worst critic anyone close to you will tell you and can be pretty hard on myself. It's not about perfection, we must remember no one is perfect and to give ourselves credit for the things we are doing right and be kind to ourselves when we struggle. 

My favorite quote of the moment:
Relax and trust the timing of your life.
You will figure out your career.
You will find the right relationship.
You will become the person you always wanted to be.
Just don't forget to appreciate who you are now.
-Ruben Chavez

What do I THINK my best life looks like? Oh I'm so glad you asked, let me tell you! 

1. I'm healthy, not skinny, not at my 21 year old size but healthy and comfortable in my own skin
2. Closer relationship with GOD, I mean we good but can always be BETTER ;-)
3. Do something I LOVE or at least really like every single day
4. Invest wisely when it comes to my energy. Love those that Love you back, forget the rest
5. Protect your PEACE, it's the most important thing
6. Travel, no more excuses or overthinking just do it 

So there you have it. My goals and daily TO DO list from this point on. I would love to know what living your best life looks like? Leave me a comment below and tell me all about it! 

P.S. How dope are these photos?! I already can tell in my pics that my mood is changing. This was the most perfect day at the National Harbor with the sun shining on my skin and wind blowing in my hair on a Monday afternoon. I felt so incredibly blessed and thankful on this day. And I got to hang out with my girl Keish who was my dope photographer, so it was a win win! #gratitude #liveyourbestlife



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Monday, April 17, 2017

Why Quitting my Job Saved my Life


Twist Tie Blouse // white jeans // River Island handbag // JustFab heels
Aviators // MAC lipstick in "Rebel"


Hello loves, long time no blog. I feel I say that way too often but please bear with me it's about to get better. On to this dramatic post title, I need to vent/chat and this has always been one of my favorite places to do that. So, grab a coffee and get comfy cause this will be a long one lol.

So, you know that dreaded feeling you have when it’s time to do something you REALLY don't want to do? The dishes, call that annoying family member, go to the dentist or do cardio at 5am.... The dread, the knots in your stomach, the excuses you come up with to avoid it.... Well multiply that by 10 and that's how I felt about my job. Every. single. damn. day was a struggle.

My job, by most people's standards, would have been their ideal perfect job. I worked for one of the largest IT firms in the world, not the US but the WORLD, Craig! My job as a consultant was to travel all over to help clients solve their real estate management problems with my management program. Travel that has taken me as far as London for 2 weeks and as close as Arkansas. My client was one of the largest retailers in the world and we were implementing my program to ALL international markets, the travel opportunities were endless. It wasn't long before I was on a plane every single week. Oh, and the money, let's just say I was 100% satisfied in that department. 

So here I was 15 years into my real estate management/ IT career working for one of the largest IT firms in the world with one of the largest client in the world. I should have been ecstatic, I'm still young so I should have been hungry. This was a career defining position to say the least. Now I say all that not to brag but to outline the magnitude of pressure that was on me. To say it was stressful and fast paced is putting it mildly, that project was INSANE! The stress level was through the roof and the pace was unrealistic at every moment. On a plane 5:45am Monday morning (sometimes Sunday night), arrive at client site, work 12-hour day, hotel to eat, shower and check company emails I was too busy to answer during the day, sleep, wake up and repeat again until Thursday when I'm back on a plane by 2pm and home by 11pm. Sprinkle in midnight calls with the India team and respond to emails that have come in from the China team now that they are awake and you have one TIRED Naja. Everything took a backseat, hell at times even that was full and the only room was in the trunk. Working out was hard, eating healthy on the road was SUPER hard, a social life was IMPOSSIBLE. I was miserable and fading quickly. (For any consultant reading this knows that life all too well, it’s not for everyone)

How I knew it was time to leave. Everyone has that one moment of clarity at least once, you could describe it like a movie. The exact moment when you just KNEW. The moment I KNEW this life was not for me and I would have to leave hit me like a tragic freight train, impossible to ignore. GOD does that to me at times. I don't do well with subtle hints (say it from ya chest so I know it’s REAL! Ha) so at times HE shows up in the BOLDEST way to get my attention.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Working away one morning when I hear a shout in the office, "Does anyone know CPR! Someone needs CPR!". I didn't move. Didn't even look up. I remember saying to myself as I very slowly pushed away from my computer, "I know CPR but let me finish this email first." It wasn't until someone came into the conference room with no windows they kept my team tucked away in before I got out of my chair. I moved to the door to see what was happening and a co-worker had collapsed. I moved closer to the commotion where my co-worker lay on the floor while another co-worker performed chest compressions on him. They asked us to stay in our rooms to make room for the ambulance that was on the way. At this point I remember praying, "Please Lord let him get up, Please Lord let him be ok" repeatedly I said in my head. I knew him, worked with him every single day. He was a stable member of the project. You see the pressure wasn't just a lot on me, everyone was feeling it. This project was huge and visibility was high from every angle, we were all under a microscope and expected to perform at 1000% every single day. 

After the ambulance arrived and took him away an announcement was quickly given that grief counselors were on the way and people were free to go home if they needed to. I walked over to a colleague’s desk and asked her if she was going to be okay or if she needed to go back to the hotel room and she looked at me with a confused face and said, "Why, what happened?" She had no idea what had just taken place the last 20 minutes because she was on a call the entire time and never realized the commotion. This was a completely open bay work space ya'll with half wall cubicles, how did you miss the calls for CPR, the commotion and the AMBULANCE that just wheeled out a person...HOW SWAY?! I thought it was crazy until 5 mins later my boss asked me to come to the conference room for our morning meeting. Wait. We're still having that?? This man SHOULD have been in that meeting with us and he just went to the hospital and we are carrying on like business as usual? Yes. Just like that. Not a single meeting was cancelled, not a beat was skipped in anyone's day. I was appalled. I was confused. Most of all I was sad and worried about my co-worker. I knew in that exact moment that I would not nor did I want to stay at that job. I don't want to work for a place that wouldn't even stop a meeting for me if I stopped breathing and collapsed out of nowhere. I don’t want to live a life where I am working to the point of death for someone else’s dream or victory. My co-worker never got up. He never came back to work and he never left that hospital. He had a stroke that day and died about 2 days later. We later had someone have a stressed induced seizure in the office and others simply left because the stress was too much.

 From that day on, I made up my mind and started planning. I would not die doing something I didn't love for a company that wouldn't even stop a meeting for me.  Before I completed my last day, I had gained a ton of weight, I stopped keeping track long ago. I was having heart palpitations from the stress and anxiety I felt every day, I’ve had more than one panic attack in the women’s bathroom stall and almost daily meltodowns with close friends and my momma. I was diagnosed a pre-diabetic...again! I couldn't even walk a flight of stairs without getting winded. A MESS. All of that was bad and I perhaps could have been managed it a bit better on my end with some boundaries and changes in habit but my true problem was I had lost my JOY, I felt like a shell of myself and was simply existing instead of living. 

Today is 2 months to the day I quit and honestly, I've used this time to recover mentally. I couldn’t be happier or more whole with my decision. I am a forever What-if’r. What if….I stayed a little longer, it might have got better. What if….I just asked to switch projects. What if….I don’t succeed in my new pursuits. What if….I stayed and nothing changed but things only got worst. DING, DING, DING!! There it is, the only What if that matters, WORST wasn’t possible to me nor an option. I am free now, with not a single regret.

 I needed to rest, I need to re-center and find ME again and most importantly find my JOY. Apparently, this does not just happen in 2 months but I'm getting there, lol. Starting with my blog. This is a place that has always bought me joy so here I am. I will focus on this space, I will focus on building this community until it no longer brings me joy (although, I don’t see that happening anytime soon!) Thank you to those who have been patient with me and continue to support me and my blog. You da real MVP and I LOVE YOU!! 


xoxo


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