9 months, 1 week and 6 days. That’s how long it’s been since my last blog post. Where in the ENTIRE hell have you been some of you have asked. I honestly didn’t think it had been that long until I checked the dates. I have been “MEANING” to blog again for so very long. I mean the ideas for blog posts flood my head daily, outfit inspiration is everywhere, new beauty products come out and I want to tell you ALLLLL about it. I’ve missed you, I promise. It’s not you, it’s me and before I get to all those things I can’t wait to talk about with you dolls....I will answer your first question. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, GIRL!!??
I’ll start around June when in my opinion my life went far far left! Let’s see, I was in the process of building my first home when I got laid off my job. A job I hated and was miserable at but paid me a pretty penny and truth be told I wasn’t ready to let go of at the time. Did I mention it was my birthday. Yeah, that was a pretty shitty one, HAPPY BIRTHDAY here’s a pink slip! I was at the end of my lease and in the process of packing up my 2 bedroom, 2 bath, 1300 sq ft apartment (size is important in this story, bare with me) so my life was in boxes. With no job and no immediate plan I felt it best to let go of my home. My beautiful, beautiful home I had dreamed of owning one day. My home with every fixture and feature picked out by yours truly. I was devastated. So with NO job, NO home and NO place to go I found a smaller (that’s a joke, this place was a closet at 541 sq ft!) much cheaper apartment to move to while I ‘figured it out’. I was devastated. Totally confused and lost. SO where most people would just get another job and move on, I was at a crossroads I felt. Was this the time to go out on my own and start the business I wanted to? Was this GOD telling me to switch careers, did he not feel I was ready for a home, was there something better to come? Maybe this is a good thing, Naja? But how?! You’re moving backwards, 31 with no job living in a 541 sq ft apartment with absolutely NO direction or idea of your next move. This is NOT a good thing!
From there I fell into a depression. I was a go getter my whole life. I had a plan my whole life. I had up to that point achieved everything I had put my mind to and excelled at it. I hated this confused, ‘helpless’, broke Naja. Anyone that knows me, knows that I HATE being broke and my lifestyle is EXPENSIVE. I spent 5 months unemployed, trying to figure it out, tried to listen to GOD’s voice instead of my own. I budgeted like a beast, I ate like one too, I prayed like one as well. I gained weight, I got sadder and sadder. What do you want? What are you doing with your life? This is what you go through in your 20’s Naja, you should have this shyt figured out by now. I wasn’t very nice to myself during this time looking back. Then there were some great things that came out of it. I joined a local church that I love. I got stronger and more resourceful, there is something powerful in making something out of nothing and pulling yourself out a hole. Most importantly clarity did come. Peace did come. I figured out WHAT I wanted then wrote down the steps I needed to take to get there.
I got another job….a better job. I bought a different house……a better house. I got closer to GOD....much closer. I got closer to my family for sure and learned to open up more. I learned to be vulnerable and allow people to help, something I refused to allow in the past. I'm good now. Not perfect by far but I’m back to blogging because I’m in a better place to tell you how I got there and take you with me on my journey as I still have a LONG, LONG way to go. Like I said earlier. I missed you guys, I missed NajaDiamond.com and I’m back.