Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Baby B Gender Reveal!! My thoughts, feelings and reaction







For as long as I can remember I have always wanted a girl. A little mini me that I could do all the girlie things with like manis and pedis. Do her hair and paint her toes, raise her to be strong and independent like mommy but kind and super smart at the same time. I had it all planned out in my head. But you know what they say about plans.....tell God and he laughs. All the while I was planning and praying for a little girl, God was preparing and planting the SON who would be just for me. Touché  God, touché. 

How I found out I was having a BOY?

When I was 8 weeks pregnant I had a VERY VIVID dream of my future son. He came to me in my dream with his cute little face and introduced himself to me. He told me he was so happy to have me as his mommy and he couldn't wait to meet me. He told me his name and said he'll see me soon. 🥰🥰 I know, is that not THE CUTEST! 😩 I woke up the next morning and called my mom and a few friends and told them about my dream. My mom believed me right away and she already knew. My mom has been saying I was having a boy before I was ever pregnant. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I guess Moms just know. My friends assured me I would have my girl and the dream was just a pregnancy dream. I still hoped for a girl but deep down I was already preparing for this man child. At 15 weeks this was confirmed via ultrasound. 

My initial reaction to knowing I was having a SON. 

So I will be 1000% percent honest here, after my dream I cried for 3 days straight. I cried AT LEAST 5 times a day for 3 whole days. There is a whole different vision that comes to my mind as a black mother in America about raising a son in today's society. There were no visions of mommy and me manis and pedis or visualizing my future feminist. Instead I had visions of George Floyd, Travoyn Martin and Tamir Rice. The pressures of societal and cultural norms that are placed on young black boys. And of course the most obvious of them all, how can I, a SINGLE WOMAN, raise a MAN? I don't know how to be a man but I surely know how to be a woman. All of these things combined sent me into a tailspin of emotions. I was a WRECK you hear me. On the 4th day, I wiped my tears, stood up straight and got my mind right. You WILL be the BEST DAMN BOYMOM to this baby, period! *in my city girl voice*😁 

As of today, I couldn't be more excited to be having a boy! I can't imagine another baby besides him and I look forward to the journey of being his mommy every step of the way. I know it will be hard but hey, I'm made for hard things. After all, I'm a Diamond dear, nothing can break me. 😉 So to all of you that guessed BOY, you were right on the money. Baby B is a BOY and coming Feb 2021, stay tuned!!

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3 comments

  1. To gather my thoughts in to one...you ARE a diamond and your son is a gem!! You are both beautiful treasures to this not-so-beautiful world. God will be with you on this journey. There is not a doubt in my mind that you and your little man are going to be each other’s biggest fans and best teammates and make great things happen!!! No one is more capable of raising a boy in to a man than you!!! The strength, love, and kindness that shines from you is all he needs. Your best little buddy is going to be an amazing man one day and tell the story of his mother...the diamond that never broke!!! I am so unbelievably happy for you!!! I think I told you that I dreamt a while back that you were having a son. It’s meant to be. Here’s to the wonderful story you are about to write together!!!!�� And omg are you naming him what he said in the dream?!?!?! ��

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  2. I had a son at a young age and was a single mom for most of his life. I loved raising my son. He was a lot of fun and full of energy and devoted to this day to his Mom. He is grown now and doing great and with my village he has the tools to navigate this heartless world. YOU GOT THIS! (later I had two daughters with my husband - it is a joy too but totally different experience. We do the girly stuff, they are my broke best friends! But I am looking forward to the day that I don't find my expensive make-up scraped out because they want to "be like Mommy"! LOL)

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  3. Congratulations on your soon to come baby boy! Your fears and feelings are not unfounded but God is always in control. You do what you can and leave the rest to God. Enjoy every step of your journey dear

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